1. Wrinkle cream and it's ridiculous promises are somewhat appealing-WHATEVER! I bought some and it's a crock. Hhhmmm.....maybe it requires use more than three times within a two month period. Ah well.
2. The noises of little bitty cherubs are a TINY BIT more amusing than they were 10 years ago, when my boys were 2 and 4.
3. Ironically, I like the way I look much more than I did 10 years ago, even though I'm a size 8 rather than a size 4 and have the above aforementioned "laugh line" or two.
4. Now that I'm able to pay my bills and still have a bit of change to spare, I don't actually care much about shopping...again, possibly related to the previously noted size change, but most likely because I don't need anything really. I rarely even find something that I'd like to have.
5. I've always noticed beautiful people, but my definition of beauty has changed.
6. Having said that, I do recognize and celebrate beautiful women...and I'm not talking about the size 2 supermodels with the 24 inch waist, blond bobblehead, and saline rack either. I'm talking about women with the swagger to pull off a look all their own without hesitation. Not only do I recognize them, but I congratulate and befriend women who once would have been seen as the competition. It's all good. I have the most gorgeous friends on the face of the Earth. It's true. Have you seen them?
7. I don't care about what other people think of my personal preferences unrelated to them. What I mean is that opinions that once might have influenced my decisions, no longer phase me. For example, I like tattoos. I don't actually give a flying flip if others do or not. I like my current "boy haircut" and remarks about how much prettier I used to be with longer hair don't influence my decision in the slightest. It's not about anyone but me. That's pretty cool, because in my 20's, I really wanted some approval. I don't want or need any of that anymore. I like how that feels. So there.
8. Instead of becoming angry and agitated by childless meddling know it alls who relish in telling parents how to raise their children, I simply listen and understand that they are indeed clueless. Without a word, I put their well-meaning, yet snide advice right where it needs to be for future use...in my mental file of idiotic and ironic jokes. : ) It makes for great conversation at play dates. Once upon a time, I would have tried to explain to this clueless chump just why they were clueless. Now, I chalk it up as stupidity and then relay the story to new moms when they need a good laugh. Thanks all you know-it-alls for the comic relief. That is indeed worth something.
9. I seem to have lost the art of dialogue somewhere in my early thirties. What I mean is, my ability to hold up my end of a conversation is lagging. Typically, when I meet up with a friend from the past, they proceed to ask questions about things that have been happening in my life and such. Socially, this is what is expected. The problem is, I don't return the favor. Once I leave, and the conversation has ended, I realize that I didn't actually ask anyone about their past, or future for that matter. Could I be socially inept? I've been concerned about this for about a year now. I find myself replaying conversations in my mind and notice that I didn't return any of the questions previously asked of me. I simply answered their questions almost as though I had no interest in their previous accomplishments. I've been bothered by this. For a while, I even made a conscious effort to plan out questions for upcoming meetings. The goal was to simply appear be interested in others. This plan isn't exactly working for me.
FINALLY, after an absolutely incredible weekend with a beautiful woman and her children, I understand what is happening to my social skills. I'm beginning to simply be in the moment. I don't ask about the past, because I don't care about the past. I mean, sure, if they want to mention something, I'll most certainly be interested. However, my focus has become the moment. Enjoying that time with my friend. Seeing that friend. Hearing that friend. Although I'm happy that I've finally managed to focus on a friend, I worry that they will see me as socially delayed. : )
10. I love a disagreement. Please don't misconstrue this to mean that I enjoy arguing. This, I do NOT enjoy. I simply love hearing of something from a different perspective. I truly enjoy logical and rational justification of a view, even if it isn't my view.
11. I'm content with what I have and where I am. I don't want a bigger or more upscale home. I'm not just saying that. I truly don't. Without a doubt, most of my friends have more upscale homes in more affluent neighborhoods, and I'm happy for them. I'm glad that they have a very nice home in a "hip" area. That's important to them, and I want for them to have what makes them happy. However, I love where I live and the extremely simple structure that functions as a house for my family. I adore my job and almost everything that comes with it. I have absolutely ZERO interest in advancing to a position that removes me from the classroom, or becoming something that I am not. I'm content. That feels pretty good.
12. I've learned to love apples. Those of you who know of my little story, understand what this means. I don't need a pear. I don't even think that I like pears really. Apples are fine. Apples are GREAT! They are everything that I need.
13. I'm not interested in important people or appearing to be one of those important people. I'm only interested in genuine people. Sometimes important people aren't genuine, and genuine people aren't always important. It's more important to me to be genuine.
14. With age, my nose remembers more. My connection between certain scents and memories is stronger. I don't know why that is, but it is. Strange...For example, my sweetest bestie ever comes to mind every time someone walks by wearing clothes washed using the same scent of Downy as she uses. It's incredible to think that I can detect the type of Downy fabric softener used by someone as they walk by, but I can, and I instantly think of my sweet Tonya. I'm not certain which scent she uses, but my nose knows.
15. My anger and frustration with people who have harmed me or someone that I love is more controllable. I don't feel the need to tell that person what I think anymore. They live with it. They know. That's enough for me. No matter how much they turn their back on the past, or pretend that they did no wrong, there's no escaping it. It's always there...knowing that they carry that is enough for me. The best revenge is to stop revenge.
16. As I near 40, I require less affirmation. I don't look to be the star of the show. I feel fine if I don't have all eyes on me. Anyone who knew me about ten years ago would find this to be quite a transformation.
17. At 38, I understand that in ten years, I will read this blog and laugh at how incredibly stupid I sound. At 28, I would have smiled and glowed with the realization that I am indeed brilliant.
Que sera.
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