Now, think about it...we all have friends on FB that we don't know all that well. I mean, sure, we know them from twenty years ago, back in high school, or from a PTO meeting, or through a mutual friend, but our insight is somewhat limited simply because of the actual time spent with this person.
What I've noticed is that you can tell a great deal about a person not by the words that they post as their status updates, but rather by the type of update and frequency posted.
For example, there are those FBer's that post a status update every time they are about to sneeze and go into great detail about the shoes they chose for their day out, their cup of morning coffee, their list of errands,...or whatever. You get the picture. By noon, they have already posted 12 updates. Overachievers. These folks are egocentric, but we love them anyway, because they give us plenty to read while everyone else is out having a life.
There are the posters of "lyrics only" who are able to express their entire being and state of mind through song lyrics. Of course, there are also those slightly less ambitious, who simply post the utube version of the song...I suppose it's just too much to type the lyrics. I prefer the video actually. Jason is officially the best D.J. on my list of friends. Unfortunately, he will be pulling an all nighter on his Utube/FB interface and will never read these props. Atta boy, Jason!
Check-in whores are my favorite. I'm guilty. Anytime I'm somewhere cool, I want everyone to know about it. It's almost like I'm inviting 401 people to join me. I don't do it often, but when I do, I'd like for at least one friend to join me, just once. I think that would be totally cool...and probably stalkerish weird. Nevermind.
Of course, there are the picture only posters. I like to call them my visual learners. I love that I know the facial expressions of children belonging to people I haven't seen in twenty years. Gotta love Facebook.
Bloggers are cool...I just don't like it when that is ALL that is posted. No status updates. Ever. Just blog links. Keep it fresh people. Change it up a little. Learn to abbreviate your thoughts so that I don't have to commit to reading a whole page in order to keep up. News flash: It's all about me, folks. Get to the point, I have things to do. (Can you sense the sarcasm and irony?)
Game App people are the true underachievers of Facebook. I mean, seriously....a virtual farm? That's all ya got? Give me a real status girlfriend. I want to know about an actual real live breathing puppy or something rather than your asparagus crop or your new barn. Dude...I may be a level 38, but I don't have any nails, alright?
Possibly the least productive FBer is the 100% copy and pasters. I'm not talking about the occasional copy and paste. We've all done that. But, if ALL you can contribute to the conversation is a repeat of what she said, then maybe you need to rethink this whole thing. You're much brighter than that. I wouldn't be friends with you if you weren't. Just sayin'
Gripers. They are the best. Every status update consists 100% entirely of negativity and drama. This cracks me up, not to mention, makes me feel SO much better about my own life. Think about it folks...EVERY SINGLE DAY CANNOT be the absolute WORST DAY EVER. Good gracious. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure there are going to be many even WORSE days than today, so smile. Find your happy place, and don't forget to update when you do. I love my dramatic friends, but their well being does worry me if their posts are actually serious. However, I doubt they are...they're my friends after all. I don't know anyone truly that sad. : ) It's just a facade actually. I'm sure of it.
Politically Motivated Conquerors of the world, via FB...oh puh lease. In case you haven't noticed, I don't care. These make me yawn. I don't mind the occasional political status, but if that is ALL you have, don't be surprised if I fall asleep somewhere. I'm bored. It's ok...but I'm bored. I'll probably just play somewhere else. Thankfully, none of my friends are that extreme. They mix it up a little while leading their party to office. Thank goodness for that.
As an added bonus, browsing friend lists of a friend is hysterical. You can tell so much about someone by their friend list. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've creeped around and you know it. Or maybe I'm the only weirdo here.
If you haven't done it yet, you should. It's funny. You will probably find a friend with over 2000 "friends," most of whom they've never even met. Maybe you will notice that the single buddy of yours has 1800 single hot chicks in his little black book...I mean FB friend list. Of course, none of these girls remember him, because they became friends at a bar around closing time and haven't spoken since. Whatever, it's still funny.
I love super mom with 150 friends appearing to be under the age of 2. Those are the cutest. Then there are your artsy friends. They have the most fascinating and frightening friends. These people can keep you entertained for hours with their profile pics alone. Love them.
What kind of FB'er am I? I suppose I'm the schizophrenic with an identity crisis. My status updates are random, pointless and without a theme. I do the blogs, random quotes, songs, videos, pictures, check-in's, and words of wisdom (ok...not so much wisdom), but the point is, I'm diverse. See look. Here are some words of wisdom now. Don't blink.
As for my friends, diverse fits the bill as well. Love each and every one of them...even the two that I've never met, but added because I love their artistic contribution to the world (Chazz Gold and Miss Missy.) Check them out. You'll probably want to be their friend as well. Anyway, the other 399 people, I actually know, and not just from closing time either...although several of them have hung around for last call with Kerry and me. I won't go into detail.
I love them all. I love their weird posts, their strange comments, and their funny pictures/videos/check-in's. Kevin-you win the best check-in award with your visit to the Women's only Curves Facility. I still laugh about that one. : )
Thanks for keeping it real and for revealing the oddities of the world, Facebook.
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