On my mind

I wouldn't say that I've been irritable lately, but rather, observant...to a fault. Undoubtedly, with my quiet observation comes a not so quiet blog.

Welcome to my (slightly edited) mind during my drive home from work:

"Seriously over that phrase, "Must be nice."  I mean, why don't you just whine, "Poor pitiful me...everyone look at me and feel sorry, because I don't have what you have..."  At least if you're honest, you'll look pathetic with dignity.  Nevermind.  You'll still just be pathetic.     

I can't stand copy and paste status updates on Facebook.  Copy and paste this if you want to get punched in the head.

I think I'm grumpy.  I bet if I made an app that blocked copy and paste status updates, I'd make a million freakin' dollars.

I am baffled by the sheer volume of kids.  Their lungs and mouths are smaller...shouldn't there be less sound coming out of their little bodies as well?

Sometimes I hate "having a feeling" about something, because you never know...it could just be gas.  But what if it's not and I don't act on the knowledge that I "think" I have and then something bad happens?  It's a curse.  I tell you.  It's a curse.

I can tell when other people are as intuitive as I am; And it makes me rather uncomfortable.  Ah, the irony.

I think pedicures make my feet rougher in the long run.  I wonder if I can just rent a massage chair and give the sweet little lady a break?  To be so tiny, her hands sure are tough - that woman is relentless.

I totally think kids should get over their fascination with pencil top erasers already.  They're just erasers.  Stop steeling them and for goodness sake, KEEP THEM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

Dude.  Why am I so grumpy?

What would it be like to burn to death...I mean, how long do you feel the agony?  The nerves probably get burned through rather quickly, right?  And WHY did this thought enter my mind?

Man, I sure have had a crummy day.  What am I talking about?  I could be on fire right now, so things aren't really bad at all.  Even worse, I could have been that bug that just smashed into my windshield.  That would suck even more.  Spending your whole short miserable life as a lowly bug only to smack into a windshield and never have had a chance to tell your baby dragonflies goodbye.  Nevermind.  My day was downright dandy.  Time to suck it up already.

And while we are on the topic of sucking it up, I think petty people are just petty.  Let it go. 

Does this new laser type liposuction really work?  Hmmmm....maybe I should check into that.  Are there any Oreos left at home? 

Speaking of Oreos, I think Lita needs her heartworm pill today.  Man, those things smell funny.

I need a new wallet.  I bet that's why I'm so grumpy"